Chilled Again Today

Hey guys, (note: this is just a post about what i did today, might be boring, but if your bored enjoy!!)

I didn't do much today. This morning, i woke up at around 7:30 a.m. and didn't go to math lecture because i was really tired (been doing this, kinda need to stop that) and then woke up several times until 10 when i also missed my organic chemistry lecture (justified cause i tell myself ill listen to podcast). When i woke up, i felt quite horned up and decided to jerk off with random strangers on webcam. (a bad habit of mine...trying to stop that). Around 10:30 am i headed off to my college academic advising, because i am considering changing my major from biochemistry/chemistry to possibly a biology or psych major. However, i want to go for biology even though its impacted. I spoke to the adviser, and she like many others in the academic advising, except for one person in there are useless. My friends confirmed that the academic advisers seem to be lazy and keep telling students to go to the "major counselor". But i find that these advisers should at least help the student find the major they would possibly like by asking them questions and finally allowing them to have a better feeling of what they would like to pursue.

 So, after i finished with the adviser, i went to meet my apartment mate this year and room mate last year (lets call him "J"). J and i went to pick up our writing papers from last year-- you can only pick them up one year after you finish that class. Then he headed off with a friend to count money for donations that they got for a club while i went to the biology academic advising. I found out i had to come back at 1. I ended up having lunch with J and as usual, we go into the dining hall and get a veggie sausage and he stick it under beans while i stick it under salsa. We check out and save some money for our dining cash. We do that for fun, and because we think that the dining halls are a rip off, so we deserve a way to compensate ourselves for paying overpriced food haha.

After lunch i went back to the apartment and waited for my other apartment mate and also my last year roomate, lets call him "JK". (as a side note: Jk and J were my roomates from freshman year and we are basically very close, we can talk about anything other than my sexuality haha...and nope i am not secretly in love with them or anything, they are the brothers i never had in my childhood) Jk and i went to a job fair for engineers...i don't know why i went but i wanted to check out the big companies like google, amazon, fb, and others. I wanted to see how they promote their business and recruit. I got lots of free stuff though specifically from google and boeing haha. Afterwards i went to just accompany Jk to eat lunch and then he went off to his work while i went to biology academic advising. After i signed in, they closed the sign ups and said it was at full capacity (good thing i went right on time). Again, the biology adviser was useless...she told me what i had already known. I thought she could have counseled whether or not biology was a good fit for me. Anyways, i don't think i can get into biology though, i finished all the prerequisites except for two more quarters of physics. Without those this is my last chance to apply, and i most likely won't get in.

 I ended up going back to my dorm, and soon one of my friends her name is E went with me and J to jamba juice and then we got dinner (personal pizzas). After dinner we all went back to the apartment and played couple games of monopoly deal (im addicted haha) and I went to the gym with Jk and another friend, her name is "C'. I ran 4.5 miles, and then did some weights, push ups, and planks. There were couple of really cute guys. I saw three guys who were looking at me throughout my time in the weights section, but i immediately turned away and pretended i was focusing on something else while lifting--- im really shy, and im EXTREMELY scared to look back at people when they look at me. Trust me im trying to learn how to make eye contact with people, i mean why wouldn't i wanna try to lure some cute guys and ask them out?! Anyways after we worked out, me and Jk walked C back to her apartment and got some shakes. As we were going back we saw our pretty close friend named "Cl", hes mexican by blood, but his parents raised him without the mexican culture, so essentially hes like an american. Me and Jk were shivering in the cold and walked back to our apartments, and now after a hot shower im sitting on my bed writing this post.

 I should sleep soon cuz i have to do some volunteering tomorrow morning. I guess i can say today was productive. I think i will try to organize my writing better next time so its not as crowded, and PLUS i want to write about all the hot guys i see!!!-- its hard to cuz, i kinda forget about it after couple days. Also, ill try to post more about me, and the people who i hang out with, so theres at least a visual of who i am and who i hang out with haha. I mean whats the point of reading a blog, if you can't visualize all the sexy guys that i meet in my life :). Gonna go read some blogs now, nite.

Just Met Up With

the first guy that i met in my life. Lets call him "E". The one from before when i posted about him and me feeling guilty. Basically, i tried to avoid him since winter break but i just wanted to get my point across to him that i don't have any feelings for him anymore. After my parents dropped me off at school, i was already in my apartment.  our text went like this before the encounter:

e: Hey im near your place, wanna meet up?

me: oh ill be back in 15 mins. (i was already in the apartment)

e: Do you wanna hang out now?

e: can i go up now?

me: ok lets meet downstairs

e: what ever.

me: kk im going down now

I think he said whatever because he knew i was avoiding him and now didn't want him to go up to my apartment. (but that will never be known, thats my interpretation)

I went downstairs outside of the lobby of my apartment, and after walking around by myself in circles, i see a figure that looks like him. I am bad at recognizing people, so i stare for a couple seconds, and soon i see someone waving at me. We got closer and hugged. Then we proceeded to sit at a table outside, and we caught up on what happened with our lives and etc. Soon it got to the question. He said that he met someone he really liked that lived in my apartment, and that they have been going out for past couple weeks. E asked me though if i still had any feelings towards him, because he still thinks about me and likes me a little. I didn't want to say outright that i don't have any feelings for him anymore, and that he should focus on who he is dating right now. Instead, i said that i really don't have time for a relationship, and that since he is with someone right now, he should cherish that and focus his love all on that person. (in fact i am busy with school, and as with my previous posts i said that i don't think i can put in the effort for a relationship.)  He finally got the message, and said that he was a little hurt. But i couldn't take back what i said, because i meant it, and i didn't want to lead him on saying that i liked him or something. I told him that we can be friends, and ill be there to talk to him about anything that happens with him. We ended by hugging and saying goodbye on the elevator, because the person he currently likes lives in the same apartment as me. As of now, i don't know how i feel but i feel relieved that this experience with E has taught me many valuable lessons. I know what i want in a relationship if i did pursue it. I want to not have sex, and have a good time hanging out with my potential partner. I think that sex can come into play when we both know each other well, and want to commit to a long term relationship.

Thats all for now, and i am heading to bed now cuz i feel sick haha.

Nite,
Jake

Made Some Changes

just some quick changes, like the intro, title, and blog design. I think i will change these things when i feel that i have changed and understand more about myself. It will reflect the changes that i currently am going through. The title just reinforces the thought of where am i really at in life and what am i doing. That is all for now, going to go study for once haha. 

This is one thing i never take advantage of...never

and that is MY WEEKENDS to catch up on work haha. I never do anything on weekends, when i really have to likes school work. If something is due on mond. i will wait till Sunday night to complete. Im just in general, a big procrastinator. But i get things done. Still, i am working on trying to do stuff more earlier.

Today, i was supposed to study, but instead read blogs and went to cheesecake factory with my sis and parents.
I got pics to show, but will post later.

Cheers,
Jake

Tapex run

	Lavender Milk Tea!!! on a sat. Feb. 4

Miso Soup

	Some miso salad soup for dinner on a sat night

Sometimes Music can be the thing that helps...

Just a thought here, cause this week has been quite stressful due to my ochem midterm, lab reports, and math midterm (which im studying for right now). Even though these days i have been desiring sleep and try to work as hard as i can to get the sleep i need, if i really need to stay up like today...then music can just do it for me. I just turn on the radio, or find couple of music videos to listen to, and im awake, energized, and not craving sleep anymore. I can keep studying while the music is going, and not be tired. Anyways back to work, but usually when im in a bad mood, stressed, or need to find some alone time, music can just be the thing. Thats it for now :).