Just Met Up With

the first guy that i met in my life. Lets call him "E". The one from before when i posted about him and me feeling guilty. Basically, i tried to avoid him since winter break but i just wanted to get my point across to him that i don't have any feelings for him anymore. After my parents dropped me off at school, i was already in my apartment.  our text went like this before the encounter:

e: Hey im near your place, wanna meet up?

me: oh ill be back in 15 mins. (i was already in the apartment)

e: Do you wanna hang out now?

e: can i go up now?

me: ok lets meet downstairs

e: what ever.

me: kk im going down now

I think he said whatever because he knew i was avoiding him and now didn't want him to go up to my apartment. (but that will never be known, thats my interpretation)

I went downstairs outside of the lobby of my apartment, and after walking around by myself in circles, i see a figure that looks like him. I am bad at recognizing people, so i stare for a couple seconds, and soon i see someone waving at me. We got closer and hugged. Then we proceeded to sit at a table outside, and we caught up on what happened with our lives and etc. Soon it got to the question. He said that he met someone he really liked that lived in my apartment, and that they have been going out for past couple weeks. E asked me though if i still had any feelings towards him, because he still thinks about me and likes me a little. I didn't want to say outright that i don't have any feelings for him anymore, and that he should focus on who he is dating right now. Instead, i said that i really don't have time for a relationship, and that since he is with someone right now, he should cherish that and focus his love all on that person. (in fact i am busy with school, and as with my previous posts i said that i don't think i can put in the effort for a relationship.)  He finally got the message, and said that he was a little hurt. But i couldn't take back what i said, because i meant it, and i didn't want to lead him on saying that i liked him or something. I told him that we can be friends, and ill be there to talk to him about anything that happens with him. We ended by hugging and saying goodbye on the elevator, because the person he currently likes lives in the same apartment as me. As of now, i don't know how i feel but i feel relieved that this experience with E has taught me many valuable lessons. I know what i want in a relationship if i did pursue it. I want to not have sex, and have a good time hanging out with my potential partner. I think that sex can come into play when we both know each other well, and want to commit to a long term relationship.

Thats all for now, and i am heading to bed now cuz i feel sick haha.

Nite,
Jake