Conflicting Conflicts

I was depressed more than i was ever recently, I think largely due to the fact that I met someone, and that im not academically doing well in school.

I met someone that was bisexual on omegle. Lets call them C. I talked to him this one night and we just talked about ourselves. However, ever since he said he had to do something for his mom, he never talked back to me after i wrote, " Hey are you back with your errand yet". So i decided to just come online occasionally and see if he would say hi or something. I don't know but me not being able to talk to him even though i only met him for one day has made me VERY sad in the inside. I think i really just get attached to people easily...which is very bad. I don't want this feeling so i try to shrug it off, but its not. I feel like im getting to the point where im stalking when hes on skype and etc. What conflicts me even more is whether or not he is really bisexual. For me i think sexuality is on a continuum, and that everyones sexual orientation is on a spectrum. That sexuality varies from person to person. However, i think i am just blinding myself that he is more dominant on the guy side. Sorry about the rant, but what i am trying to say is that i just don't understand HOW i can be so depressed when this guy doesn't talk back to me even though we just met once on cam. Its sad, but true. I might have fallen for him--which sounds rather ridiculous. This is the first time i've been hit really hard....

Then there is my school work. I think im currently not doing so hot for medical school standards. I hate ochem, and that brought my gpa down a lot.

I have nothing else much to say, but i am VERY GLAD that i have good friends out there that are willing to spend time and talk to me about being depressed. After a series of events today that started tumbling down to my small depression, i saw my friend online, and i told her i saw her other friend earlier today. Then she asked how i was doing...i told her i was depressed jokingly. She immediately came to see me at 9:40pm when she lives off campus. (she has to walk back 30 mins to where she lives). I am truly grateful for her talking to me especially in a time where i don't know what else to do. Through her thoughtful words, and experience i think i have what it takes to fight this sadness and depression i am feeling. We talked until 12:10am....But here is what i think i am going to change on:

1) to stop comparing myself with others, and to follow my own life.
2) Make my own decisions
3) Be assertive
4) Be happy
5) stick with my values
6) Don't care about what other people think of me

As much as those things may sound repetitive, or better yet corny....i think it is actually meaningful when you take it to heart. These are truly what I should be thinking about. Therefore, NO NEGATIVE thoughts, but positive :)

This post is just a rant, because i think i needed it Hope you everyone is enjoying their time, and remember be happy!